360 view of the Filipino people saying goodbye to former President Corazon C. Aquino.
Friday, August 07, 2009
Fortune cookie says..
Message found in fortune cookie:
Your heart will always make itself known through your words.
Monday, August 03, 2009
Closing Cycles (by Paulo Coelho)
Stolen from Mariel's FB. It's a good read and awfully makes so much sense.
--------------------------------------------------
One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters - whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.
Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents' house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won't take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.
None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we cannot forever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back. Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.
That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts - and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place. Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.
Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the "ideal moment." Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person - nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.
Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust. Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.
Sunday, August 02, 2009
It's back
I should've written yesterday but was too numb to do so.
I came home Friday with bad news. I was told my physical exam results were back and that I can't report for work unless I can present a fit to work notice. It's my x-ray. Apparently, they saw the same thing they saw 5 years ago. It was -possible Koch's infection of unknown origin- that's what I read from the results.
My dad said my uncle had the same findings 20 years ago, and when he had himself checked a couple months back because he had recurring coughs, the same thing appeared on his x-ray. He was informed that those were just scars from his previous case and that he was going to be fine. (I refuse to call it "infection" as it makes me nervous).
And so from when I got home last Friday, I couldn't take my mind off it, try as I may. I found it impossible to sleep. The last time my xray looked like this, I was asked to resign from work and rest for 6 months. In the past I was able to haggle 3 months rest on the condition that I take my medications with no fail.
I can't be asked to resign from my job. I can't afford it. There's just too many bills to pay and I have people depending on me. And what happens to me when I lose my job? I'll probably lose someone too, eventually.
So these things have kept me awake for the last 2 nights.
I'm not sure what to do or if there's anything that I can do to stop things from falling apart, really.
I'll visit the specialist tomorrow. Not knowing what's gonna happen sure scares the hell out of me but I know it's out of my hands now.
Like any other defining moment in my life, I'm choosing to leave it up to Him. He hasn't let me down anyway.
_______________________
Keep breathing
I said that I'll always be there
Now I mean it more than before
there's a future worth fighting for
Don't be scared
I know how you must be feeling
No one to help you carry the pain
I'm coming to save the day
I came home Friday with bad news. I was told my physical exam results were back and that I can't report for work unless I can present a fit to work notice. It's my x-ray. Apparently, they saw the same thing they saw 5 years ago. It was -possible Koch's infection of unknown origin- that's what I read from the results.
My dad said my uncle had the same findings 20 years ago, and when he had himself checked a couple months back because he had recurring coughs, the same thing appeared on his x-ray. He was informed that those were just scars from his previous case and that he was going to be fine. (I refuse to call it "infection" as it makes me nervous).
And so from when I got home last Friday, I couldn't take my mind off it, try as I may. I found it impossible to sleep. The last time my xray looked like this, I was asked to resign from work and rest for 6 months. In the past I was able to haggle 3 months rest on the condition that I take my medications with no fail.
I can't be asked to resign from my job. I can't afford it. There's just too many bills to pay and I have people depending on me. And what happens to me when I lose my job? I'll probably lose someone too, eventually.
So these things have kept me awake for the last 2 nights.
I'm not sure what to do or if there's anything that I can do to stop things from falling apart, really.
I'll visit the specialist tomorrow. Not knowing what's gonna happen sure scares the hell out of me but I know it's out of my hands now.
Like any other defining moment in my life, I'm choosing to leave it up to Him. He hasn't let me down anyway.
_______________________
Keep breathing
I said that I'll always be there
Now I mean it more than before
there's a future worth fighting for
Don't be scared
I know how you must be feeling
No one to help you carry the pain
I'm coming to save the day
Saturday, August 01, 2009
from myden
1. This survey gets a little personal; can you handle it?
~ oo naman.
2. If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be?
~ twitter. haha.
3. Were you happy when you woke up today?
~ hindi gaano kase absent ako kagabi.
4. When were you on the phone last? And with who?
~ tatay ko kanina, para sabihin na nandito nako
5.What is the last thing someone bought you?
~ starbucks coffee jelly
6.What’s something that can always make you feel better?
~ getting answers. knowing tomorrow's gonna be okay
7. What are you excited for?
~ hindi ako excited.
8. What were you doing yesterday?
~ Work. Mega, bumili ng cardigan sa Mango. Ortho, nagpa-adjust. Metrowalk, bili dvds. Umuwi ng mga 5.30 ng hapon at sinalubong ng bad news.
9. Honestly, who was the last person to tell you they love you?
~ medyo matagal na pero si behng
10. What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
~ ripe mango
11. Have a best friend?
~ i used to be obsessed with this term before, thinking i was different if i didn't have a person to call my bestfriend. but that was a long time ago when i was stupid. it's all good now. and to answer the question (and daming segway), yes, i think i do.
12. Are you scared to fall in love?
~ minsan. ginawa na akong praning ng tadhana.
13. Do you think teenagers can be in love?
~ kahit sino naman e.. kahit dogs. cats. love birds. kahit si totoro naiinlove siguro.
14. Last person you wanted to punch in the face?
~ hmmm wala akong maisip
15. What time is it right this second?
~ 2011PM
16. What do you want right now?
~ ang maging kampante.
17. Who was the last person you took a picture with?
~ hindi ko maalala
18. Are you single/taken/heartbroken/or confused?
~ taken
19. When was the last time you cried?
~ kanina lang
20. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
~ i think so
21. Do you find it hard to trust others?
~ i have trust issues.
22. How fast does your mind change?
~ not too fickle.
23. I bet you miss somebody right now.
~ oo. nakakabaliw.
24. Can you honestly say you're okay right now?
~ no, i'm not okay. =(
25. Why do you think so many people cheat?
~ kasi hindi makuntento. o kaya people are just plain polygamous
26. Tell me what's on your mind.
~ ang dami.. parang sasabog na nga utak ko sa dami e
27. What are you looking forward to in the next three months?
~ i dunno.. preparing for xmas? haha ang aga! kala ko pa naman hindi ako excited
28. Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
~ oo minsan yung nabibili kong shorts and tshirts, pang boys. pero di pa ako nakasuot ng damit ng lalaking kakilala ko.
29. When did you last talk to your number 1 top friend
~ wait di ako sure sinong number 1 top friend ko..
30. When is your next road trip?
~ wish ko lang may time for roadtrip
31. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell anything to?
~ oo may ilan ilan din.. karamihan bading.
32. How's your heart?
~ kabado
33. Have you ever felt like you weren't important?
~ sometimes
34. Do you think somebody's in love with you?
~ oo. (wow confident!) pero oo nga. siguro naman.
35. What are you planning on doing after this?
~ ligo
36. When will your next kiss take place?
~ hindi ko pinaplano yung mga ganyan bagay.. basta it just happens.
37. Have you told anybody you loved them today?
~ nagawa ko pa lang after reading the question.
38. Who do you not get along with?
~ ayoko mag-name drop pero meron.
39. What does your 3rd recent text say?
~ "Crush is a trending topic? Haha that's awesome! Thanks you guys! =)"
40. What are you wearing right now?
~ pambahay ng shorts and tshirt
41.Are you wasting your time on the person you like?
~ no. it's been worthwhile
42. When's the last time you had a grilled cheese?
~ in bulacan
43. What's your favorite boy and girl name right now?
~ tobey
44. How did you feel when you woke up?
~ weird. nanibago kase hindi ako pumasok na dapat nung time na nagising ako, lunch ko pa lang sa office nun
45. Do you wish someone would call or text you right now?
~ oo
46. Do you crack your knuckles?
~ i know it's a bad habit but i do it sometimes, lalo pag kinakabahan at di mapakali
47. What were you doing yesterday at midnight?
~ tulog nako 10pm pa lang. sobrang pagod
48. What are your LEGAL initials?
~ MKJL
49. Who's the first B in your contacts?
~ Babuy
50. When was the last time you laughed really hard?
~ everyday. bungisngis ako eh.. konting bagay lang natatawa na ako.. lalo pag humirit na si beh ng "spreadie" jokes nya
51. Your number 1 top friend walks out of your life, do you go after them?
~ depende kung bakit nag-walk out.
52. Last awkward moment?
~ kahapon after reading a text from somebody sa office
53. Are you afraid of the dark?
~ no
54. Do you have good vision?
~ no. as per the last check up i had (which btw, was not too long ago), i have astignatism in my left eye and i am certified color blind.
55. Have you ever tripped someone?
~ no
56. Have you ever slapped someone?
~ wala pa.
57. Are you Irish?
~ nope
58. Do you use chap stick?
~ noon.
59. Do you have any scars?
~ yes
60. Is there someone you will never forgive?
~ napatawad ko na. pero i don't think we'll be friends again.
61.Do you laugh off embarrassing moments?
~ yes
62. Name the last person to text you?
~ fherrie
63. Would you marry someone 8 years older than you?
~ ewan ko.. depende kung okay naman kayo.
64. Can you go in public looking like you do?
~ yes. ganito itsura ko pag nagpapasyal ng mga aso sa umaga.
65. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
~ single lang yung bed ko so parang lahat ng sides nagagamit! haha
66. Is it easy for someone to make you smile?
~ oo, hihirit lang si behng, matatawa na ko
67. What's the first thing you'll do on your wedding day?
~ gigising
68. Do you fall for people easily?
~ not really. it takes a lot for me to like someone.. mahilig kase ako maglista ng mga sablay
69. Has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days?
~ yes while sleeping
70. Do you miss the way things used to be?
~ okay naman ako ngayon but i guess it's just normal to look back and miss some things from time to time
71. How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?
~ hmm.. depende, i tend to think before verbalizing espacially kung mean yung naiisip ko.
72. Song you're thinking of right now?
~ save the day - david archuleta
73. Want someone back in your life?
~ andrew and my lolo. nakakamiss lang =(
74. Will tomorrow be better than today?
~ hindi pa siguro. monday kase ako hahatulan e.
75. What’s the color of you’re shirt you are wearing?
~ color blind kase ako so ang hula ko beige/grey-ish sha. but i can be very wrong.
76. Has anyone ever sang or played music for you personally?
~ yes
77. Does it bother you when someone lies to you?
~ pag yung kung sino sino lang wala naman akong pakialam mashado..it only matters if it's someone i really care about.
78. Is there anyone who understands your relationship status?
~ oo there's a handful of them
79. Are you a naturally happy person? Or is your happiness forced?
~ naturally happy
80. Is there anyone you wish would fall in love with you?
~ sha lang okay na. hindi ko na kailangan ng iba. mushy kung mushy!
~ oo naman.
2. If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be?
~ twitter. haha.
3. Were you happy when you woke up today?
~ hindi gaano kase absent ako kagabi.
4. When were you on the phone last? And with who?
~ tatay ko kanina, para sabihin na nandito nako
5.What is the last thing someone bought you?
~ starbucks coffee jelly
6.What’s something that can always make you feel better?
~ getting answers. knowing tomorrow's gonna be okay
7. What are you excited for?
~ hindi ako excited.
8. What were you doing yesterday?
~ Work. Mega, bumili ng cardigan sa Mango. Ortho, nagpa-adjust. Metrowalk, bili dvds. Umuwi ng mga 5.30 ng hapon at sinalubong ng bad news.
9. Honestly, who was the last person to tell you they love you?
~ medyo matagal na pero si behng
10. What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
~ ripe mango
11. Have a best friend?
~ i used to be obsessed with this term before, thinking i was different if i didn't have a person to call my bestfriend. but that was a long time ago when i was stupid. it's all good now. and to answer the question (and daming segway), yes, i think i do.
12. Are you scared to fall in love?
~ minsan. ginawa na akong praning ng tadhana.
13. Do you think teenagers can be in love?
~ kahit sino naman e.. kahit dogs. cats. love birds. kahit si totoro naiinlove siguro.
14. Last person you wanted to punch in the face?
~ hmmm wala akong maisip
15. What time is it right this second?
~ 2011PM
16. What do you want right now?
~ ang maging kampante.
17. Who was the last person you took a picture with?
~ hindi ko maalala
18. Are you single/taken/heartbroken/or confused?
~ taken
19. When was the last time you cried?
~ kanina lang
20. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
~ i think so
21. Do you find it hard to trust others?
~ i have trust issues.
22. How fast does your mind change?
~ not too fickle.
23. I bet you miss somebody right now.
~ oo. nakakabaliw.
24. Can you honestly say you're okay right now?
~ no, i'm not okay. =(
25. Why do you think so many people cheat?
~ kasi hindi makuntento. o kaya people are just plain polygamous
26. Tell me what's on your mind.
~ ang dami.. parang sasabog na nga utak ko sa dami e
27. What are you looking forward to in the next three months?
~ i dunno.. preparing for xmas? haha ang aga! kala ko pa naman hindi ako excited
28. Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
~ oo minsan yung nabibili kong shorts and tshirts, pang boys. pero di pa ako nakasuot ng damit ng lalaking kakilala ko.
29. When did you last talk to your number 1 top friend
~ wait di ako sure sinong number 1 top friend ko..
30. When is your next road trip?
~ wish ko lang may time for roadtrip
31. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell anything to?
~ oo may ilan ilan din.. karamihan bading.
32. How's your heart?
~ kabado
33. Have you ever felt like you weren't important?
~ sometimes
34. Do you think somebody's in love with you?
~ oo. (wow confident!) pero oo nga. siguro naman.
35. What are you planning on doing after this?
~ ligo
36. When will your next kiss take place?
~ hindi ko pinaplano yung mga ganyan bagay.. basta it just happens.
37. Have you told anybody you loved them today?
~ nagawa ko pa lang after reading the question.
38. Who do you not get along with?
~ ayoko mag-name drop pero meron.
39. What does your 3rd recent text say?
~ "Crush is a trending topic? Haha that's awesome! Thanks you guys! =)"
40. What are you wearing right now?
~ pambahay ng shorts and tshirt
41.Are you wasting your time on the person you like?
~ no. it's been worthwhile
42. When's the last time you had a grilled cheese?
~ in bulacan
43. What's your favorite boy and girl name right now?
~ tobey
44. How did you feel when you woke up?
~ weird. nanibago kase hindi ako pumasok na dapat nung time na nagising ako, lunch ko pa lang sa office nun
45. Do you wish someone would call or text you right now?
~ oo
46. Do you crack your knuckles?
~ i know it's a bad habit but i do it sometimes, lalo pag kinakabahan at di mapakali
47. What were you doing yesterday at midnight?
~ tulog nako 10pm pa lang. sobrang pagod
48. What are your LEGAL initials?
~ MKJL
49. Who's the first B in your contacts?
~ Babuy
50. When was the last time you laughed really hard?
~ everyday. bungisngis ako eh.. konting bagay lang natatawa na ako.. lalo pag humirit na si beh ng "spreadie" jokes nya
51. Your number 1 top friend walks out of your life, do you go after them?
~ depende kung bakit nag-walk out.
52. Last awkward moment?
~ kahapon after reading a text from somebody sa office
53. Are you afraid of the dark?
~ no
54. Do you have good vision?
~ no. as per the last check up i had (which btw, was not too long ago), i have astignatism in my left eye and i am certified color blind.
55. Have you ever tripped someone?
~ no
56. Have you ever slapped someone?
~ wala pa.
57. Are you Irish?
~ nope
58. Do you use chap stick?
~ noon.
59. Do you have any scars?
~ yes
60. Is there someone you will never forgive?
~ napatawad ko na. pero i don't think we'll be friends again.
61.Do you laugh off embarrassing moments?
~ yes
62. Name the last person to text you?
~ fherrie
63. Would you marry someone 8 years older than you?
~ ewan ko.. depende kung okay naman kayo.
64. Can you go in public looking like you do?
~ yes. ganito itsura ko pag nagpapasyal ng mga aso sa umaga.
65. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
~ single lang yung bed ko so parang lahat ng sides nagagamit! haha
66. Is it easy for someone to make you smile?
~ oo, hihirit lang si behng, matatawa na ko
67. What's the first thing you'll do on your wedding day?
~ gigising
68. Do you fall for people easily?
~ not really. it takes a lot for me to like someone.. mahilig kase ako maglista ng mga sablay
69. Has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days?
~ yes while sleeping
70. Do you miss the way things used to be?
~ okay naman ako ngayon but i guess it's just normal to look back and miss some things from time to time
71. How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?
~ hmm.. depende, i tend to think before verbalizing espacially kung mean yung naiisip ko.
72. Song you're thinking of right now?
~ save the day - david archuleta
73. Want someone back in your life?
~ andrew and my lolo. nakakamiss lang =(
74. Will tomorrow be better than today?
~ hindi pa siguro. monday kase ako hahatulan e.
75. What’s the color of you’re shirt you are wearing?
~ color blind kase ako so ang hula ko beige/grey-ish sha. but i can be very wrong.
76. Has anyone ever sang or played music for you personally?
~ yes
77. Does it bother you when someone lies to you?
~ pag yung kung sino sino lang wala naman akong pakialam mashado..it only matters if it's someone i really care about.
78. Is there anyone who understands your relationship status?
~ oo there's a handful of them
79. Are you a naturally happy person? Or is your happiness forced?
~ naturally happy
80. Is there anyone you wish would fall in love with you?
~ sha lang okay na. hindi ko na kailangan ng iba. mushy kung mushy!