38 seconds!

I could survive for 38 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor

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giving back

I was supposed to have a (literal) all-nighter for this study session in preparation for Greenlight 2 on Monday so I decided not to go home and stay overnight at the office. I figured studying at home was not that much of a success since there were too many distractions and having the bed just steps away from my study area hasn't helped me in the last week (I would go in saying it'll just be a nap but when my alarm goes off, I just get too lazy to actually get up and do more readings and topic tests.)

The entire week has just been so exhausting. I have to be in the office at 7am for my class and I usually get off at 6pm to around 8pm, tops, to re-take previous topic tests. So that's more than 12 hours of lectures, studying and exams each and every single day of my Series 7 Training life. It has even gone to a point where I already thought about voluntarily going back to the floor just because I could no longer cope with everything that's happening. I know I want this. I guess I just never thought I'd be endorsed this early and so I am stil not over that fact that I have no right to screw this up and waste the opportunity others probably just dream about.

So after having dinner with Beh, we dropped by the Greenbelt chapel just to revel in the quiet and just give thanks. I know I've been really whiny lately but I definitely don't discount the fact that I am lucky have been given this once in a lifetime chance. I just hope I don't waste it.

*Here's the pic I snapped just before crossing the bridge on top of the little pond. Btw, it was the first time I ever saw live ducks walking around in the park. They were adorable.

re-focus

First week of Series 7 training is over and I am here re-taking the online exams just so I can catch up on the topics I missed. We're done with Chapter 11 but I feel like I was left somewhere between the depths of hell and Chapter 6.. I AM IN DEEP SH**.

I have been terrified of exams for as long as I can remember, especially when you count Accounting 1a, 1b, 2a and 2b in the picture. It's not really taking the exam that I have trouble with, it's more of going blank when the mix of questions evade my already mixed-up head and I kind of doubt what I already know. Hence, I change my answers and end up regretting it because my first option was actually correct.

I am exhausted. I guess mental exhaustion is twice as bad as a physical one because now I find myself closing my eyes and still seeing quote interpretations, the price yield see-saw, the stcinteractive website, and darkness. Just lots and lots of darkness.

Somehow I have to find a way to channel my fears into productivity.

Taking the plunge

It wasn't until I received the email from TL Ma-an that everything started sinking in: I AM OFF TO THE SERIES 7 LICENSURE TRAINING ON MONDAY and there was no turning back.

I remember wanting to be licensed as early as June of this year especially after Roanne had told me about her cousin who was already a licensed broker, but thought it was a long shot because not everybody is given a chance to be trained. I was even informed by the Recruitment Specialist during my initial interview with AWWC that there were only around 30% of the population in AWWC who were licensed because training and administering the exam is expensive (around $250-$300/person) so I didn't really expect that I'd get endorsed this early.

If Shin was not exaggerating, this could be the hardest I'll ever have to study in my entire life. It is scary just thinking about it because I know I'll have info overload in the next 30 days and I don't know what technique to resort to just so I can grasp everything and actually retain it until after the exams. But again, I'm in no position to complain. This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance and I sure wouldn't waste it. I did not let go of the HTMT and IBM Daksh offers just to screw up this opportunity and give up without a fight. So if this means studying over the weekends and skipping going out at any time for the whole duration of the class, or downing Ginkgo Biloba in between, I'll gladly endure it.

Pass or fail? It's all up to me. It's terrifying but I'm taking the plunge. There's nothing to lose anyways.

-Paulo Coelho (Like the Flowing River)

"If tomatoes wanted to be melons

They would look completely ridiculous

I’m always amazed

That so many people are concerned

With wanting to be what they are not:

What is the point of making yourself look ridiculous?

You don’t always have to pretend that you are strong,

There is no need to prove all the time that everything is going well

You shouldn’t be concerned about what other people are thinking,

Cry if you need to,

It is good to cry out all your tears

(Because only then you will be able to smile again)...

I want to be someone capable of seeing the unseen faces, of seeing those who do not seek fame or glory who silently fulfil the role life has given them...."

10 random things

(taken from: lapetitecoquine)

THE RULE:

*Each blogger shares ten random facts/habits about themselves.

1. I’ve never broken a bone.

2. I have 5 ear piercings.

3. I’m super anal about spelling and grammar.

4. I hate waking up 4 hours short of sleep and never being able to sleep again.

5. I have read the entire twilight saga in a span of 2 weeks.

6. I hate psychological thrillers.

7. I love the scent of newly washed clothes.

8. I enjoy watching movies with heart-wrenching endings.

9. I believe in karma.

10. I can't live without music.

What are your 10 random things?