so nobody wants to ask me a question? try "how are you feeling keiel?" and i will tell you how i feel even though the question is WAY loaded for a blog answer.

im through with my defense. i wont even post what i got since everybody in both blocks are talking about it.. and i assume they are going to talk about it for quite sometime. i admit i am disappointed and honestly felt like crying the moment i left the conference room. i've never felt this ROTTEN and HELPLESS in a looong time. i just.. i've told myself over and over that it's gonna be ok, but it's not. really. and it's not even about competing anymore. i just felt i did a good job today--even impressed a certain PhD panelist whom everyone feared--and that my efforts should be equally compensated in the same manner that everyone who took their thesis defense expects. sadly the grounds are not even to begin with. i guess this feeling i have right now (not really anger but more of frustration) stems from the fact that i know i deserved better.

im not happy but life goes on.

to dr. dona, (if you happen to come across this), thank you for supporting me through and through and for (ok, i think im gonna cry now..) *ahem* making me feel less rotten whenever i come to you with gargantuan whines and complaints and for pushing me whenever i feel like giving up already. tinaas ko yung banderang pula kaso di ata nila nakita.. =)

i'd also like to say thanks to the eco people who have shown me their support today (you know who you are).. please know that i am overwhelmed by all your kinds words.. sobrang nakakataba ng puso na naiinis kayo on my behalf.. pero ok lang yan guys.. ganyan talaga buhay eh la tayong magagawa. mahal ko kayo.

to lara and eric.. for the texts wishing me luck this morning..THANK YOU.

so that's my day.. i don't feel so good but i know it's gonna get better.