giving back

I was supposed to have a (literal) all-nighter for this study session in preparation for Greenlight 2 on Monday so I decided not to go home and stay overnight at the office. I figured studying at home was not that much of a success since there were too many distractions and having the bed just steps away from my study area hasn't helped me in the last week (I would go in saying it'll just be a nap but when my alarm goes off, I just get too lazy to actually get up and do more readings and topic tests.)

The entire week has just been so exhausting. I have to be in the office at 7am for my class and I usually get off at 6pm to around 8pm, tops, to re-take previous topic tests. So that's more than 12 hours of lectures, studying and exams each and every single day of my Series 7 Training life. It has even gone to a point where I already thought about voluntarily going back to the floor just because I could no longer cope with everything that's happening. I know I want this. I guess I just never thought I'd be endorsed this early and so I am stil not over that fact that I have no right to screw this up and waste the opportunity others probably just dream about.

So after having dinner with Beh, we dropped by the Greenbelt chapel just to revel in the quiet and just give thanks. I know I've been really whiny lately but I definitely don't discount the fact that I am lucky have been given this once in a lifetime chance. I just hope I don't waste it.

*Here's the pic I snapped just before crossing the bridge on top of the little pond. Btw, it was the first time I ever saw live ducks walking around in the park. They were adorable.

re-focus

First week of Series 7 training is over and I am here re-taking the online exams just so I can catch up on the topics I missed. We're done with Chapter 11 but I feel like I was left somewhere between the depths of hell and Chapter 6.. I AM IN DEEP SH**.

I have been terrified of exams for as long as I can remember, especially when you count Accounting 1a, 1b, 2a and 2b in the picture. It's not really taking the exam that I have trouble with, it's more of going blank when the mix of questions evade my already mixed-up head and I kind of doubt what I already know. Hence, I change my answers and end up regretting it because my first option was actually correct.

I am exhausted. I guess mental exhaustion is twice as bad as a physical one because now I find myself closing my eyes and still seeing quote interpretations, the price yield see-saw, the stcinteractive website, and darkness. Just lots and lots of darkness.

Somehow I have to find a way to channel my fears into productivity.

Taking the plunge

It wasn't until I received the email from TL Ma-an that everything started sinking in: I AM OFF TO THE SERIES 7 LICENSURE TRAINING ON MONDAY and there was no turning back.

I remember wanting to be licensed as early as June of this year especially after Roanne had told me about her cousin who was already a licensed broker, but thought it was a long shot because not everybody is given a chance to be trained. I was even informed by the Recruitment Specialist during my initial interview with AWWC that there were only around 30% of the population in AWWC who were licensed because training and administering the exam is expensive (around $250-$300/person) so I didn't really expect that I'd get endorsed this early.

If Shin was not exaggerating, this could be the hardest I'll ever have to study in my entire life. It is scary just thinking about it because I know I'll have info overload in the next 30 days and I don't know what technique to resort to just so I can grasp everything and actually retain it until after the exams. But again, I'm in no position to complain. This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance and I sure wouldn't waste it. I did not let go of the HTMT and IBM Daksh offers just to screw up this opportunity and give up without a fight. So if this means studying over the weekends and skipping going out at any time for the whole duration of the class, or downing Ginkgo Biloba in between, I'll gladly endure it.

Pass or fail? It's all up to me. It's terrifying but I'm taking the plunge. There's nothing to lose anyways.

-Paulo Coelho (Like the Flowing River)

"If tomatoes wanted to be melons

They would look completely ridiculous

I’m always amazed

That so many people are concerned

With wanting to be what they are not:

What is the point of making yourself look ridiculous?

You don’t always have to pretend that you are strong,

There is no need to prove all the time that everything is going well

You shouldn’t be concerned about what other people are thinking,

Cry if you need to,

It is good to cry out all your tears

(Because only then you will be able to smile again)...

I want to be someone capable of seeing the unseen faces, of seeing those who do not seek fame or glory who silently fulfil the role life has given them...."

10 random things

(taken from: lapetitecoquine)

THE RULE:

*Each blogger shares ten random facts/habits about themselves.

1. I’ve never broken a bone.

2. I have 5 ear piercings.

3. I’m super anal about spelling and grammar.

4. I hate waking up 4 hours short of sleep and never being able to sleep again.

5. I have read the entire twilight saga in a span of 2 weeks.

6. I hate psychological thrillers.

7. I love the scent of newly washed clothes.

8. I enjoy watching movies with heart-wrenching endings.

9. I believe in karma.

10. I can't live without music.

What are your 10 random things?

google yourself

Stole this from (1sa) . You type in " likes to" (quotations marks included) into google, search, copy and paste the top 10 results.

1. KRISTINE likes to hang out with friends and talk to them on the phone. (When there's time to hang out I take advantage. I don't get to see friends too often because of my work schedule.. Di nako ganun ka-telebabad queen. I think I outgrew that phase already)

2. KRISTINE likes to take fotograps and edit images on the computer. (talagang 'fotograps' --I'm currently tinkering with Photoshop CS4 and I'm still trying to get the hang of the whole thing so I can hopefully create better graphics for my sites [yes parang ang dami!])

3. KRISTINE likes to cite poll results that "prove" that we have no reason to be fearful about the criminally violent trends in our society today and over the past ten to fifteen years. (ano daw??)

4. KRISTINE likes to squeeze in a little time in the garden when she can. (not really.. ang kaya ko lang alagaan cactus saka bonsai..)

5. KRISTINE likes to shoot. (punchlines, oo.)

6. Sometimes at a loss for words KRISTINE likes to use her body to express herself with gestures and body language. (ewako ko pero ma-gesture nga daw akong tao.. animated, parang cartoons. haha)

7. KRISTINE likes to ground herself. (oo, especially when I know I deserve it. Di kasi ako pinapagalitan ng parents ko or sinisita. mabait naman kasi ako in general. haha. So when I know I've done something out of line, I punish myself for it. I don't know if that's the beginning of self-destruction, but I do.

8. In her spare time KRISTINE likes to read, ride her horse and spend time with her family. (okay na yung read and spend ime with family.. wala kasi akong horse.)

9. KRISTINE likes to play the piano. (used to.. ouido lang. I play based on what I hear. Pero rusty na cuz I haven't played in a long time. Huli ko yata yung nag-MG marathon kami ni Lara tapos she let me play the soundtrack in front of her entire family.. Di naman ako na-on-the-spot mashado.)

10. KRISTINE likes to keep herself busy, as her myspace site points out. (busy-busihan lang.. pero wala to sa myspace ko. haha.)

Of witches, vampires and Monster's

I spent the hours after arriving home from work organizing my DVDs since I couldn't sleep yet and had nothing productive to do.. OC as I am, I decided to arrange them by genre. haha.. I don't keep track of how many I have, I just always have the knack to purchase all the titles I want c/o of Wency in Metrowalk. So now my collection is happy to look at and it is now easier to locate the ones I want to watch right away (cuz usually I when I feel like watching a movie it takes forever to locate a particular title amidst the collection and thus I just walk away and log in to my multiply instead. haha). This is what my DVD arrangement looks like now:

And speaking of movies, I was able to watch one yesterday after cleaning all my clutter and taking a looong bath --The Covenant (2006, Sony Pictures). It suddenly reminded me of the upcoming Twilight film but instead of vampires, in it were a group of rich, good-looking teenage boys who happen to be decendants of the Sons of Ipswich in Massachusetts in the 1600s. That kept me entertained for 2 hours or so. I'll skip the spoilers since I urged Wina and Gaeile to watch it before we see each other.

Also, last night was Monster night. We had Monster delivered at 10pm after not so much persuasion from Earl and Pao since I felt like having a midnight snack as well. Did you guys ever wonder why they do not have walk-in branches? Their pizza isn't as yummy as Domino's or classic as Pizza Hut's but it gives you option to combine as many as 4 flavors in one pizza. And as the name connotes, it is HUGE.. we even had it cut Party-style (42 slices) and after 3 slices I was ready to take a breather. Pao on he other hand finished 7 slices but who knows how much more he ate when I left them at 11pm to sleep. haha. Take a look..

(sorry for the quality, crappy camera phone)

Last day of the weekend for me.. I've got some studying to do because we'll have compex again tomorow night and plus I have to gear myself for an earlier shift which I have not experienced in years (9pm-6pm). Market hours here I come!

The secret reason why Obama's winning

I got this post from Shariah's multiply which she received in an email.. I just wanted to share it with everyone as well.

Posted by: eya | 8 Oct 2008 19:49:17 

Maybe it is where all Obama's money is coming from:Where all the money came from for the expensive schools and travel has troubled me from the beginning. Has Obama been groomed from the background with money, education, philosophical guidance, and image lessons for this powerful position for years and years? Are the American people being duped and manipulated? I say without a doubt. If it seems so obvious to you and me why hasn't the press brought it to the attention of less inquiring minds? This election has me very worried. So many things to consider. About a year ago I would have voted for Obama. I have changed my mind three times since than. I watch all the news channels, jumping from one to another. I must say this drives my husband crazy. But, I feel if you view MSNBC, CNN, and Fox News, you might get some middle ground to work with.

About six months ago, I started thinking 'where did the money come from for Obama'. I have four daughters who went to College, and we were middle class, and money was tight. We (including my girls) worked hard and there were lots of student loans. I started looking into Obama's life. 

Around 1979 Obama started college at Occidental in California . He is very open about his two years at Occidental, he tried all kinds of drugs and was wasting his time but, even though he had a brilliant mind, did not apply himself to his studies. 'Barry' (that was the name he used all his life) during this time had two roommates, Muhammad Hasan Chandoo and Wahid Hamid, both from Pakistan . During the summer of 1981, after his second year in college, he made a 'round the world' trip. Stopping to see his mother in Indonesia , next Hyderabad in India , three weeks in Karachi City, Pakistan where he stayed with his roommate's family, then off to Africa to visit his father's family. My question - Where did he get the money for this trip? ! Nether I, nor any one of my children would have had money for a trip like this when they where in college. When he came back he started school at Columbia University in New York . It is at this time he wants everyone to call him Barack - not Barry. Do you know what the tuition is at Columbia ? It's not cheap! to say the least. Where did he get money for tuition? Student Loans? Maybe. After Columbia , he went to Chicago to work as a Community Organizer for $12,000. a year. Why Chicago ? Why not New York ? He was already living in New York . 

By 'chance' he met Antoin 'Tony' Rezko, born in Aleppo Syria , and a real estate developer in

Chicago . Rezko has been convicted of fraud and bribery this year. Rezko, was named 'Entrepreneur of the Decade' by the Arab-American Business and Professional Associa tion'. About two years later, Obama entered Harvard Law School . Do you have any idea what tuition is for Harvard Law School ? Where did he get the money for Law School ? More student loans? After Law school, he went back to Chicago . Rezko offered him a job, which he turned down. But, he did take a job with Davis, Miner, Barnhill & Galland. Guess what? They represented 'Rezar' which Rezko's firm. Rezko was one of Obama's first major financial contributors when he ran f! or offi ce in Chicago. In 2003, Rezko threw an early fundraiser for Obama which Chicago Tribune reporter David Mendelland claims was instrumental in providing Obama with 'seed money' for his U.S. Senate race. In 2005, Obama purchased a new home in Kenwoood District of Chicago for $1.65 million (less than asking price). With ALL those Student Loans - Where did he get the money for the property? On the same day Rezko's wife, Rita, purchased the adjoining empty lot for full price. The London Times reported that Nadhmi Au chi, an Iraqi-born Billionaire loaned Rezko $3.5 million three weeks before Obama's new home was purchased. Obama met Nadhmi Auchi many times with Rezko.

Now, we have Obama running for President. Valerie Jarrett, was Michele Obama's boss. She is now Obama's chief advisor and he does not make any major decisions without talking to her first. Where was Jarrett born? Ready for this? Shiraz , Iran ! Do we see a pattern here? Or am I going crazy?

On May 10, 2008 The Times reported, Robert Malley advisor to Obama was 'sacked' after the press found out he was having regular contacts with 'Hamas', which controls Gaza and is connected with Iran . This past week, buried in the back part of the papers, Iraqi newspapers reported that during Obama's visit to Iraq, he asked their leaders to do nothing about the war until after he is elected, and he will 'Take care of things'.  Oh, and by the way, remember the college roommates that where born in Pakistan ? They are in charge of all those 'small' Internet campaign contribution for Obama.

Where is that money coming from? The poor and middle class in this country? Or could it be from the Middle East ? And the final bit of news. On September 7, 2008, The Washington Times posted a verbal slip that was made on 'This Week' with George Stephanapoulos. Obama on talking about his religion said, 'My Muslim faith'. When questioned, 'he make a mistake'. Some mistake! All of the above information I got on line. If you would like to check it - Wikipedia, encyclopedia, Barack Obama; Tony Rezko; Valerie Jarrett: Daily Times - Obama visited Pakistan in 1981; The Washin gton Times - September 7, 2008; The Times May 10, 2008.

Now the BIG question - If I found out all this information on my own, Why haven't all of our 'intelligent' members of the press been reporting this? A phrase that keeps ringing in my ear - 'Beware of the enemy from within'.

the boys of twilight

The boys of Twilight. Hehe. Cute.

Impossible is nothing.

We were asked to report an hour early last night to join a pep talk sponsored by the Training Department. The talk was aptly titled "I can." The activity started with the facilitator asking each participant to write down 5 things that started with the phrases

"I can't"
"I won't be able to"
"I will never"
"I am not capable of"

So we each went on to enumerate the things we felt we can't do at the moment.. from bungee jumping, to joining the Palanca to forgiving people who have hurt us to things as simple as going on a special date or dancing..

Not everyone got to share what they wrote due to time constraint and some just chose to be mum about what they had written especially when they'd felt that their list seemed too trivial as compared to the rest.

It was this video, though, that became the highlight of the short pep talk. Suddenly I realized that impossible is nothing.

If you want to know more about the father and son tandem, check this out and be inspired.