Monday, March 02, 2009

I'm always like this every single Monday

And so I watched Stop-Loss yesterday even when I was supposed to be studying 63.. It was after 3 chapters that I decided to put the book down and take a break. And by break I meant movie break. haha.

It's been a while since I enjoyed a war movie. Guess 80% accounted for the fact that the cast was eye-candy, even Abbie Cornish Ü HAHA. But I honestly liked the simplicity and how the film took me to the Iraq experience through the soldiers' eyes. Ryan Philippe was exceptional and I was surprised at Channing Tatum's performance as well. I mean, I was so used to seeing him shake his booty in his Step Up films that I didn't realize what a good actor he truly is. Joseph Gordon-Levitt was also great and this movie did his talent justice. Too bad he.. (I really shouldn't say. Go watch the movie to find out!)

Saturday was fun with Gena, Rom and Mel. Too bad Behng wasn't able to make it but I am positive she did enjoy splurging on her new shoes! We had lunch and hung out at Gale and when Rom and Gena had to go, Mel and I moved to Figaro to wait for Jazzy. By 4.30pm, I was ready to go home as well. (Went there straight out of my shift, hence the lack of sleep and optimal energy). Good times though. Wish we can see each other more often.

Anyways, here I am again counting the days 'til it's weekend. I'm always like this every single Monday and I realize that it gonna be 5 nights of working my ass off again. Okay I'm exaggerating. It really isn't that hard. I just get a knack out of making it sound like the toughest job in the world. Honestly, the way to getting here is the hard part but I won't go into details anymore. I just feel lazy (AGAIN!) that's all. And if I plan on changing this outlook anytime soon, I better drag myself to doing 2 more chapters before lunch.

I might be back later though. Who knows.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

lagging

Been feeling really lazy today that I, once again, decided to procrastinate on my review. I just have this really bad case of dysmenorrhea and it's hard to concentrate, much less momorize a ton of State Securities Laws.

Can't help but feel jealous of everyone who doesn't have to go through the same crap again. But then again, the fact that it is a constant red flag of how badly I had screwed up just makes it all worse.

I wish the week is over.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The Long Legs of the Crash: 13 Unexpected Consequences of the Financial Crisis By Daniel W. Drezner

March/April 2009

Last year had more than its share of vertigo-inducing headlines: major banks suddenly disappearing, the Dow plunging day after day, and billion-dollar bailouts failing to make a dent in the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression.Already, the Wall Street way of life seems to have gone the way of the dodo.

An entire country—are you reading this, Iceland?—went belly up overnight. And good luck if your last job title was “mortgage-backed securities trader.” But if there are some predictable economic hardships we can expect from the current crisis, there are also some trickle-down effects that aren’t so foreseeable. Here, 13 surprising consequences of the crash:

1 Your government will get smarter... In a global recession, governments around the globe will be able to recruit a better class of bureaucrats. Just a few years ago, the U.S. government had serious recruitment problems in the Foreign Service because no world-savvy 25-year-olds wanted to work for the civil service when they could make serious cash on Wall Street. In a severe downturn, however, the stability and security of a government job look far more appealing.

2 ... and more corrupt. Politicians’ palms are about to get greasier. A global downturn shrinks the demand for goods and services worldwide. That means the security of a government contract will look pretty sweet to any businessperson struggling to stay afloat. A January report from Transparency International warned that corruption is bound to increase worldwide during the current crisis, as businesses prioritize survival over corporate integrity.

3 Gray skies are gonna clear up (at least a little). The central factor in projections about global warming is long-term extrapolations of current economic growth. Thing is, I doubt the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change expected Wall Street to tank as spectacularly as it has. The longer the global economy stays in recession, the less greenhouse gases are emitted into the atmosphere. You still might not be able to breathe easy in Beijing, but your odds just got better.

4 The Internet is about to get a lot more #@%$ing annoying. Newspapers are looking to online advertising revenue to deliver them from bankruptcy court (and eventually, total eradication). So, expect more Web advertising on your news sources—pop-up ads, welcome screens, articles hacked into ever shorter segments to maximize clicks—that cannot be escaped easily. Or at least not without getting extremely frustrated.

5 Glory days for evangelicals. Bad times are boon times for evangelical churches. Economist David Beckworth of Texas State University has crunched U.S. church attendance numbers and found that congregation growth at evangelical churches jumped 50 percent during each recession between 1968 and 2004.

6 Your kids will be savers. Macroeconomic realities in your childhood have a profound effect on your financial choices later in life, regardless of how much money you make, according to a study by economists Ulrike Malmendier and Stefan Nagel of the University of California, Berkeley, and Stanford University, respectively. The generation that grew up during the Great Depression, for example, was more risk-averse than its parents and its children when it came to money. Your kids, in other words, won’t be addicted to E*Trade, but you’ll probably find their allowances stuffed under their mattresses.

7 Skirts will get longer. Here’s a piece of Wall Street folk wisdom: There is a rough correlation between bull markets and bare knees. During boom times, skirts get shorter. In these bearish times, prepare for hemlines to head south. Somewhat in relation, we’ll see something else go north: the age and weight of Playboycenterfolds. Evolutionary biology encourages people to seek “more mature” mates during times of economic insecurity, argue Terry F. Pettijohn and Brian J. Jungeberg in one of the more interesting studies published recently in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. To support their claim, the researchers showed that during recessions, centerfolds get older and, well, rounder. Similar studies have confirmed an identical trend in movie comedies—male and female leads get older during recessions.

8 Your military just got bigger. The age group that will be hit hardest by the current downturn? The world’s 18- to 24-year-olds. This group just so happens to be the prime recruiting age bracket for militaries, which can generally offer a steady paycheck and decent benefits. Indeed, the U.S. Army exceeded its recruitment goals in the last three months of 2008 for the first time in 5 years. And as the war in Iraq winds down, these new soldiers’ fears of being deployed in a hostile combat environment should wane. The few and the proud might grow into the many and the desperate.

9 State schools will be cool. A prolonged downturn will profoundly affect institutions of higher learning. For the past decade, private schools far outpaced state schools in terms of resources and expenditures as their endowments swelled from the long financial boom. Many elite universities followed Harvard’s lead and adopted need-blind admissions with generous financial-aid packages.That’s all about to change. Endowments in the United States have declined 10 to 30 percent during the past year, which will make need-blind admissions a thing of the past and financial-aid offers far less generous. The credit crunch will also make it more difficult for young people to secure reasonable student loans.

10 Boomers will refuse to leave the building. A whole tier of older employees who planned on retiring now or in a few years simply can’t—their 401(k) retirement accounts look way too scary. In 2008 alone, U.S. workers aged 55 to 64 who have had 401(k)s for at least 20 years saw their retirement balances drop an average of 20 percent. This means those who expected promotions when the boomers cleared out are going to have to stew in their own juices and gripe around the water cooler. Office politics just got a lot nastier.

11 The world is no longer flat—and fewer people will care. Global downturns often breed protectionism and other barriers to foreigners. Cross-border tourism is likely to plummet. Study-abroad programs will also be affected—the New York Times recently reported a dramatic decline in South Koreans studying overseas. News outlets are also likely to further scale back their foreign news bureaus to cut costs.

12 Nouriel Roubini’s frequent flyer miles will go through the roof. One business will be big this year: conferences on the crisis of capitalism. The Dr. Dooms and Cassandras of the most recent bubble era—economists such as Nouriel Roubini, Robert Shiller, Stephen Roach, and Joseph Stiglitz—will be doling out advice and “I told you sos” in convention halls and conference rooms around the globe. Indeed, in the month of January alone, Roubini traveled to Istanbul, Dubai, Abu Dhabi, London, Riyadh, Zurich, Davos, and Moscow. The likely difference now? Seats in coach.

13 Great Depression lit will be chic. Eras like to mine the cultural tropes of analogous eras from the past. So, expect books about the Great Depression to dominate Amazon rankings. Already, Hodding Carter IV has received a big advance to write A Year of Living Within Our Means, a book about his family living strictly within its budget by using cost-cutting measures from the 1930s. And somewhere, you just know Ken Burns is making a 25-part documentary on the Tom Joads of this world.


Guest columnist Daniel W. Drezner is professor of international politics at the Fletcher School at Tufts University. He is the author of All Politics Is Global (Princeton: Princeton University Press, 2007) and blogs daily atdrezner.foreignpolicy.com.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

toxic friends

There are friends that I truly consider to be real friends that I may not talk to on a regular basis but I know that if I need them they're there and vice versa. Its a good idea to do a little spring cleaning every once in awhile and evaluate friendships that you've cultivated. If the friendship isn't mutually beneficial, or you spend most of your time tip-toeing around to not piss them off, then its not worth it. Just break up. :O) It's so much better that way. Less stress.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

15-minute post

I'll be off to work in a few hours and I feel that the long weekend just passed me by.. I had so many listed agenda (study for series63, clean my closet, clean my pc files, play with the dogs, cook pasta, etc) and yet I wasn't able to do any of them because I'm not feeling too well. It's like a flu is coming along but is disguised in plain colds + body aches - fever.

I know I've pretty much done a good job with my attitude towards work in the last half of this year but tonight I think I'll have to literally drag myself to go, just because I can't be absent, not really because I hate my job (like how I felt in the past).

It will be a tough two weeks ahead for me as I prepare for yet another exam -- 63. Oh yeah, I was able to sneak in a couple of topic test earlier while my mind had not absorbed 100% of the meds and I was at least 60% coherent. hehe. 

15-minutes done. Off I go.

Saturday, February 07, 2009

25 random things

Disclaimer: Okay so this has been going around faceebook for a while. And I honestly missed tagging anyone back because; 1. I couldn't think of 25 random things in one sitting, 2. i lost my internet connection for 5 days thanks to globe and 3. i was really blank and needed to wait for my moment to be able to answer this as lucidly as i can. Anyways..

Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.(To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

1. I never liked my first name -- marie.

2. I eat the weirdest combinations of food: oatmeal and tuna spread, banana and peanutbutter, french fries and sundaes

3. I wake up really early. It doesn't matter if I stayed up late, my body clock seems to set off as soon as the sun rises. It was very useful when I was still in school, but now that I work during night shift, it's just plain bummer.

4. I have a knack for collecting notebooks of all sizes. I don't particularly use them, I just like having them. 

5. I love to read. I have a massive book collection from gradeschool (sweet valley, girl talk, fabulous five, nancy drew, hardy boys) to my ever-changing tastes in highschool (christopher pike, stephen king, SVH & SVU, classics0) and college up to present (history, bronte, alighieri, meyer, evans, patterson, de saint exupery, plath, garcia marquez, coelho, grisham, albom, brown, flaubert, allende)

6. I like the moffatts. I seriously was a fanatic some 10 years back and eventhough they're no longer together as a band, I still have an appreciation for their music and what they've become.

7. I'm glad i quit my old job and found a better and brighter career. Ü I became a FINRA Registered Representative in just 6 months.Ü

8. I'm a chronic hand washer. I don't do hand-sanitizers as i feel i'm just making my hands more filthy and basically rubbing the dirt/germs all over. ick.

9. I had birthday parties (with clowns, games, the works) until I was 9 years old.

10. I'm a closet singer. I sing lots and loudly in the the shower or in the car but when it's public, like in team buildings or videoke, nobody can make me hold the mic. I'm just shy that way. Although I remember Ms. J made me sing Gabrielle's Out Of Reach during Butch's wedding reception. And out of fear i did. haha!

11. I never had a curfew. My dad would even bring me to and from my gimmicks in highschool.. even in college when I had no ride anywhere. I was also allowed to go on slumber parties/overnights anytime, even on a school night. Guess I'm lucky.

12. I miss my youngest brother Andrew (Sept. 14, 1988 - April 18 1993). I believe he's my intercessor in heaven and I look forward to the day we see each other again.

13. I was suspended for 5 days when I was in my senior year in HS. Reason: bringing Heineken during our Tagaytay Retreat. (which btw, was confiscated right out of our bags during the bag check the moment we arrived. In short, we never got to consume them)

14. I think credit cards are the manifestation of the devil. Enough said. haha

15. I write fiction. I wish I had more time to devote on this but the last serious novel i worked on was (I think) back in college. The manuscript, btw got lost. =(

16. I believe in God but am not religious. I don't really want to go into debate with anyone about this so let's just leave it at that.

17. I find comfort in being with someone who's attuned with me.

18. I have 5 dalmatians who I love so much. They're just the best things to come home to after a long day at work.

19. I think the best friends I have are the ones I met in Highschool. And so I am looking forward to the St. Scho Batch '99 10-year reunion in May! Ü

20. I used to smoke in college but eventually quit. I've been clean for more than 7 years.

21. I love to cook. Hate the food prep though. But I'd like to believe I can cook mean dishes.

22. The out of town city I've been to most times is Baguio. I was still in mom's womb when I first went there and in my whole lifetime I'm guessing I've been there more than 20 times already.

23. The only chocolate cake I liked is the home-made one from Pueblo. 

24. I forgive but I don't forget.

25. I may have gone through the most difficult times in the last 8 months but I know I am a changed person because of everything that I've experienced and am thankful that I am where I'm at.

week 1 and what-nots

I got past the first week of taking in LSA (Licensed Service Agreement) calls and I managed to get an escalation from a customer who filed a complaint with FINRA regarding the kind of service he was he was getting/not getting from the firm. Not that he was actually complaining about me personally,  but he was mistakenly sent an affidavit of domicile instead of the dispute forms he desperately needed. (and why do i sound like i'm washing my hands?haha)

Anyway, on to things more of you can relate to.. My birthday's coming up next month and I don't have anything planned yet. More often that just works in my favor because most of the things i spend time planning about are the ones that get killed in the planning process alone. So I'll just chill and let whatever come my way.

I am off to a long weekend next week because it's President's Day and the stock market is closed for business. I'm not too sure if there are other affected offshore LOBs but people are heading to out of town (puerto, CWC, Baguio, etc) to get away from the daily-ness called corporate life. As for me, it's Series 63 modules that's probabl gonna keep me busy. I'm not delighted at the thought but I'm not craving to join the pack fleeting Manila that weekend as well. Guess I just feel a bit too lazy to go anywhere far.. just not in travel mode sorry.

Oh yeah, I had my hair cut last weekend. Well, so much for the grand planning and all that opinion-taking ordeal, the haircut I wanted wasn't followed by the stylist. It's not such a disaster. I just feel it could've been better. ANYWAY.. I don't have pics of myself to show everyone but my hair is shorter and I have long sided bangs but still far from the style I was going for.. oh well.. maybe in 2 months I'll have it re-done. Who knows how random I can get.

Well, guess that's it. Just wanted to let you know that I haven't been abducted by aliens.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

lucky

Suddenly the old Britney Spears song played in my head.

But no, that's got nothing to do with this post (the song or Britney,i mean).

It's weird how quicky I shift emotions. Just yesterday I felt like the biggest wretch of the earth (around 10.30am onwards) and though I was kinda good at hiding how I really felt around everyone, the moment they'd left suddenly became cue for realizations to sink in and I cried. There was just too many welled up emotions waiting to burst and I succumed. So there I was, in a videotaped public area, stiffling like a crazy person. I'm not sure if I should be glad the team had gone home or be totally embarrassed that the staff at the Prometric Testing Center might've seen me from their monitors. ANYWAY. I hope they wouldn't have much of a recall in 30 days when I return to hopefully redeem myself.

Today though, I can't really claim that I'm over it because I have everyone around me as a constant reminder that I'd screwed up but at the same time I'd like to believe I've gotten into terms with the situation and I've come to accept that this is my fate and that there is a greater reason behind it that I am yet to understand.

You know when you get to a point where you become so devastated and there's nothing else you can do, really, because it's been done and you're just faced with the consequences of your actions that you just move on and accept reality with open arms? 

It's a bittersweet feeling. At the same I feel lucky that life gives second chances. 

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

A Boy, A Girl, and An Apple

Holocaust survivors tell love story

By MATT SEDENSKY, Associated Press Writer Sun Oct 12, 3:11 PM ET 
NORTH MIAMI BEACH, Fla. 


In the beginning, there was a boy, a girl and an apple. 
He was a teenager in a concentration camp in Nazi-controlled Germany. She was a bit younger, living free in the village, her family posing as Christians. Their eyes met through a barbed-wire fence and she wondered what she could do for this handsome young man.
She was carrying apples, and decided to throw one over the fence. He caught it and ran away toward the barracks. And so it began.
As they tell it, they returned the following day and she tossed an apple again. And each day after that, for months, the routine continued. She threw, he caught, and both scurried away.
They never knew one another's name, never uttered a single word, so fearful they'd be spotted by a guard. Until one day he came to the fence and told her he wouldn't be back.
"I won't see you anymore," she said. "Right, right. Don't come around anymore," he answered.
And so their brief and innocent tryst came to an end. Or so they thought.
___
Before he was shipped off to a death camp, before the girl with the apples appeared, Herman Rosenblat's life had already changed forever.
His family had been forced from their home into a ghetto. His father fell ill with typhus. They smuggled in a doctor, but there was little he could do to help. The man knew what was coming. He summoned his youngest son. "If you ever get out of this war," Rosenblat remembers him saying, "don't carry a grudge in your heart and tolerate everybody."
Two days later, the father was dead. Herman was just 12.
The family was moved again, this time to a ghetto where he shared a single room with his mother, three brothers, uncle, aunt and four cousins. He and his brothers got working papers and he got a factory job painting stretchers for the Germans.
Eventually, the ghetto was dissolved. As the Poles were ushered out, two lines formed. In one, those with working papers, including Rosenblat and his brothers. In the other, everyone else, including the boys' mother.
Rosenblat went over to his mother. "I want to be with you," he cried. She spoke harshly to him and one of his brothers pulled him away. His heart was broken.
"I was destroyed," Rosenblat remembers. It was the last time he would ever see her.
___
It was in Schlieben, Germany, that Rosenblat and the girl he later called his angel would meet. Roma Radziki worked on a nearby farm and the boy caught her eye. And bringing him food — apples, mostly, but bread, too — became part of her routine.
"Every day," she says, "every day I went." 
Rosenblat says he would secretly eat the apples and never mentioned a word of it to anyone else for fear word would spread and he'd be punished or even killed. When Rosenblat learned he would be moved again — this time to Theresienstadt, in what is now the Czech Republic — he told the girl he would not return. 
Not long after, the Russians rolled in on a tank and liberated Rosenblat's camp. The war was over. She went to nursing school in Israel. He went to London and learned to be an electrician. 
Their daily ritual faded from their minds. 
"I forgot," she says. 
"I forgot about her, too," he recalls. 
Rosenblat eventually moved to New York. He was running a television repair shop when a friend phoned him one Sunday afternoon and said he wanted to fix him up with a girl. Rosenblat was unenthusiastic: He didn't like blind dates, he told his friend. He didn't know what she would look like. But finally, he relented. 
It went well enough. She was Polish and easygoing. Conversation flowed, and eventually talk turned to their wartime experiences. Rosenblat recited the litany of camps he had been in, and Radziki's ears perked up. She had been in Schlieben, too, hiding from the Nazis. 
She spoke of a boy she would visit, of the apples she would bring, how he was sent away. 
And then, the words that would change their lives forever: "That was me," he said. 
Rosenblat knew he could never leave this woman again. He proposed marriage that very night. She thought he was crazy. Two months later she said yes. 
In 1958, they were married at a synagogue in the Bronx — a world away from their sorrows, more than a decade after they had thought they were separated forever. 
___ 
It all seems too remarkable to be believed. Rosenblat insists it is all true.
Even after their engagement, the couple kept the story mostly to themselves, telling only those closest to them. Herman says it's because they met at a point in his life he'd rather forget. But eventually, he said, he felt the need to share it with others. 
Now, the Rosenblats' story has inspired a children's book, "Angel Girl." And eventually, there are plans to turn it into a film, "The Flower of the Fence." Herman expects to publish his memoirs next year. 
Michael Berenbaum, a distinguished Holocaust scholar who has authored a dozen books, has read Rosenblatt's memoir and sees no reason to question it. 
"I wasn't born then so I can't say I was an eyewitness. But it's credible," Berenbaum said. "Crazier things have happened." 
Herman is now 79, and Roma is three years his junior; they celebrated their 50th anniversary this summer. He often tells their story to Jewish and other groups. 
He believes the lesson is the very one his father imparted. 
"Not to hate and to love — that's what I am lecturing about," he said. "Not to hold a grudge and to tolerate everybody, to love people, to be tolerant of people, no matter who they are or what they are." 
The anger of the concentration camps, Herman says, has gone away. He forgave. And his life has been filled with love.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

frustrated

There's nothing worse than feeling you're just not good enough. And it doesn't help that a majority of the people you're with are actually excelling at something you're expected to have an understanding of when in fact you're just a little too lost than the rest of them. It's just so frustrating because you know you're not daft and yet the results show otherwise.